Sunday, June 24, 2007

Goin' to da Country

Ever hear someone say "we're goin' to da country"? What exactly does it mean? For most people that simple phrase probably invokes a bit of laughter, and for others a bit of bewilderment. What country are ya referrin' to dere buddy? Growing up I was never a "goin' to da country" kid. We always went off camping, and fishing, etc... but we never went to "da country". Did you? If so, then this is a no brainer. You already know what I'm talking about. You can leave now. If you have no idea what on earth I'm referring to, then by the lard dine tunderin' I'm gonna tell ya.

Goin' to da country is a way of tellin' folks that you're off to your cabin for the weekend. No, it's not in another country, per se, but it's just as well it was. Cause to hear everyone talking about it, you'd swear they were off to the lost island of Atlantis to enjoy the long weekend. There's nothin' like goin' to da country bye, is what they all say.

Well, I'm seriously considering partaking in this "da country" affair, and kicking it back a notch or two. Time to give meself and da wife and da kids a piece of da country. Or at least that's what I'm considering. Now comes da hard part... finding a place of me own out dere in da country. Know any good places? If so, drop me a line and let me know where da best place out dere in da country is!

Friday, June 22, 2007

Nothing to say about nothing

That's how I've been feeling lately... nothing to say about nothing. It's crazy around here and I don't know if it's just that things are so hectic, or if I'm plain losing motivation for updating the blog. Probably a combination of the fact that I'm trying to earn my degree at night, work all day, help run a restaurant, raise a family, be a good husband, keep from strangling the dogs and cats when they get on my nerves, keep the garden clean, the grass mowed, the money coming, the kids from hurting each other, the cats from tearing each others eyes out, the house half clean except of course for all that darned animal hair that somehow replaces the vacuumed up hair before it even enters the vacuum bag. Phew.... maybe it's time to just sit back, grab a nice cold beer, and relax. Perhaps when that one week of summer finally arrives I will be ready to do just that. Then again, I'm sure by then there will be something else to take up my "spare" time!
Note: this cartoon is by Dave Walker.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Hein Lick Maneuver

I am not a big fan of Newfie jokes, but I can laugh at them with the best of us. When this one came through my email this morning I thought it was worth showing you. Enjoy!

A woman sitting in a restaurant in St John's, Newfoundland, suddenly began to cough while eating a giant lobster.

After a few seconds it became apparent that she was in real distress, and two men, Bob and Bill, sitting at the next table turned to look at her.

"Kin ya swaller'? asked Bob. The woman signaled 'No', desperately shaking her head

"Kin ya breathe?" asked Bill. The woman, beginning to turn a bit blue, shook her head 'No.

With that, Bob walked over to her, lifted up the back of her skirt, yanked down her panties, and slowly ran his tongue up and down the woman's butt. This shocked the woman and she went into such a violent spasm that the obstruction flew out of her mouth and she began to breathe again.

Bob swaggered back over to his table and proudly took another drink of his beer. Bill said in admiration, toasting Bob "Ya know boy, I'd heard of dat dere Hind Lick Maneuver, but I ain't never seen nobody do it before."

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Natural Highs

Natural Highs

This came to me in the form of SPAM this past week... I usually just delete these things, but for some reason this one caught my attention. So I read it... and what I found was there was actually some pretty good things listed here that made me laugh.

So I pulled out all the SPAM crap and decided to post it for others to get a giggle or two as well.

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one. It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end of #44.

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry ).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
24. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
25. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
26. Your first kiss (the very first).
27. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
28. Playing with a new puppy.
29. Having someone play with your hair.
30. Sweet dreams.
31. Hot chocolate.
32. Road trips with friends.
33. Swinging on swings.
34. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
35. Making chocolate chip cookies.
36. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
37 Holding hands with someone you care about.
38. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
39. Watching the __expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
40. Watching the sunrise.
41. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
42. Knowing that somebody misses you.
43. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
44 Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

I'm sure you didn't find all of them amusing, but I doubt you read all 44 and didn't find at least one to make you laugh a little. :-)

Friday, June 1, 2007

How to Lose those Manboobs

Title: How to Lose Manboobs

By line: By Craig Ballantyne, CSCS, MS
URL: Tubulence
Word count: 442
Related keywords: lose manboobs, fat burning workout, chest fat, lose chest fat, burn chest fat, burn fat

How to Lose Manboobs
By: Craig Ballantyne, CSCS, MS

You don’t have to go through life with man boobs (otherwise known as male breasts). In fact, you can burn away chest fat and get rid of your manboobs forever with just three short, but intense workouts per week.

Getting rid of manboobs is as simple as getting rid of any other fat. You need to cut back on the junk, and fill up on the intensity. Turbulence Training is the fastest fat loss workout you can do at home. You don’t need fancy equipment or a gym membership (where you’ll be too embarrassed by your man boobs to go anyway).

Listen, women love a chiseled chest, but are turned off by the site of manboobs poking through a sweatshirt. That’s why I’ve put together a fat burning program that focuses on building muscle and blasting fat with all sorts of push-ups, chest exercises, and intervals. In fact, even the Turbulence Training abdominal workouts work the chest and help convert those man boobs back into a real man’s chest in just weeks.

You can gain muscle and lose fat with short workouts. You don’t need to be training 6 days per week or spending hundreds of dollars each month on fancy (but worthless) supplements. Soon you’ll be the guy who is first to take his shirt off at the beach. No more hiding under sweats in the middle of July, or avoiding the water because you don’t want anyone to see your manboobs.
And no matter what anyone says, you don’t have to rely on surgery. Besides, that will leave ugly scars that will leave you just as self-conscious as when you had man boobs. The only fix is a permanent lifestyle change, thanks to the 3 short workouts per week of Turbulence Training. You’ll see changes in your man boobs, love handles, and arm definition within weeks, going from male breasts to ripped abs in the process.

Turbulence Training is not like all those other aerobic, slow cardio programs you’ve tried in the past that didn’t work. And it’s not a wimpy machine circuit that just ends up being a waste of your time. Instead, Turbulence Training is a unique exercise system that you can do in the comfort of your own home, so that no one at the gym can point or stare at your chest – at least not until they are staring with respect.

The fastest way, the safest way, and the only way to get rid of man boobs is with strength training and interval training. Combine that with Dr. Chris Mohr’s sensible nutrition guidelines, and you’ll have a new body, and a new chest in just weeks.

Sincerely, Craig Ballantyne, CSCS, MS
Author, Turbulence Training

About the Author
Craig Ballantyne is a Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist and writes for Men's Health, Men's Fitness, Maximum Fitness, Muscle and Fitness Hers, and Oxygen magazines. His trademarked Turbulence Training fat loss workouts have been featured multiple times in Men’s Fitness and Maximum Fitness magazines, and have helped thousands of men and women around the world lose fat, gain muscle, and get lean in less than 45 minutes three times per week. For more information on the Turbulence Training workouts that will help you burn fat without long, slow cardio sessions or fancy equipment, visit Turbulence